Commercialization of the holidays can create unrealistic expectations for children and stress for parents trying to manage budgets and teach values. What can we do about it?

“Commercialization can push the idea of buy, buy, buy,” says Amanda Schmalenberger, a behavioral health case manager at BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee. “It fuels unrealistic expectations. It also plays on social comparison, which often leads to disappointment and stress.”

How commercialization affects families

Amanda Schmalenberger: Kids will compare with friends. Those who get less can feel embarrassed or get angry at their parents or their home situation.

Don’t diminish children’s feelings about this issue. Help children see that every family situation is different and some children will get more than them and some will get less whether by family ability to purchase or by family choices. Validate that it can be hard when you see you got less than others. Help them feel it, process it and move on.

Social media can create unrealistic expectations and that often fuels insecurities. I urge parents to monitor what kids are watching. If there’s something you disagree with, discuss it, or even block it, but don’t ignore it.

Setting realistic gift expectations

Amanda Schmalenberger: Set limits and boundaries with your kids year-round, including birthdays and holidays.

Here are some strategies families can use:

• Have a gift limit per person
• Give only homemade gifts
• Set price limits

Explain your gift strategy to your children. Honesty and not making promises you cannot keep are important.

Allowing gifts to be a primary focus of the holidays can lead to stress. Instead, look for opportunities to create memories and spend time together as a family.

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Teaching gratitude and values

Amanda Schmalenberger: Don’t wait for the holidays to teach gratitude and values. Here are effective ways to teach children about gratitude throughout the year:

• Volunteer as a family at a food bank or similar organization.
• Go through your child’s toys with them and have them donate some that others can use.
• Model gratitude. Children will learn from what they see from their parents.

“Overall, I urge people to focus on family and values rather than gifts for the holiday season,” Amanda says. “

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Get more information about specific health terms, topics and conditions to better manage your health on bcbst.com. BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee members can access wellness-related discounts on fitness products, gym memberships, healthy eating and more through Blue365®. BCBST members can also find tools and resources to help improve health and well-being by logging into BlueAccess and going to the Managing Your Health tab.